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Friday, April 29, 2011

Sexuality and the Song of Songs

When the masterminds behind this blog first asked me to write on the theme of ‘sexuality’ I was stumped. 


 What could a born-again Christian, someone who puts God first and considers sex a gift something to share within marriage, possibly have to write about?


I was all ready to put the proverbial tape over my mouth, shrug with lack of inspiration and, instead of spending time writing, take up golf instead. Or become a mildly proficient performer of the harmonica, scheming ways to play ten pin bowling with my recycling on Bin Night, that kind of thing.

Zzzzip. That was the sound of me whoosing past this month’s issue, sadly bypassing the opportunity to contribute for lack of content. Bye Anna, see you next month!

Then I remembered the Song of Songs. When talking about ‘sexuality’ I almost* can just copy/paste straight from this book to just present you with an insight on sexuality, from a Christian perspective.

Quick background: this is the story of a very famous king (like the Brad Pitt meets Justin Beiber (for the tweens reading this!) meets George Clooney meets Bill Gates type of guy. And this girl, “normal” girl, worked out in the fields – almost like a “commoner marries Prince” type story.

So, it’s their love story. Cut to the chase, after an engagement (where they spend time hanging out around apple trees, talking and being cute & in love) they get married.

Then, once they’re married they start to say stuff like:

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth – for your love is more delightful than wine.” (Her)
She says, “Take me away with you – let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers.”

She also says other complimentary stuff about him: “My lover is to me a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts.” . . .

And he just adores her, and constantly makes her feel special: “How beautiful you are, my darling” etc.

And she’s sweet to him too like, “How handsome you are, my lover.”

(You can tell they really dig each other!)

There are some other things in here, as well, things that might make you blush even but between the two of them, there’s no shame.

It’s like, for them, being safe yet free in each other’s love within their marriage, they just delight in each other.

And the girl says to her friends, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” It’s like a Facebook status she wrote, warning her mates. If her husband king was on FB as well, I’m sure it would have said: “King Solomon likes this status.”

People say, “You don’t buy a car until you test drive it” but when you find the car you really want – a brand new BMW – you actually don’t have to do that.

You don’t need to take it for a 20 min test drive to know it’s the car you want. You could but you don’t have to.

When/if you have a new baby and it’s there at the hospital you’re not (assuming here …) going to take your baby home, see how he or she fits in around your house, see if they suit you and align with your lifestyle and preferences. If they don’t suit you, just return them. 


And then, at the hospital, maybe check out another baby; take it home and see how that one goes … and continue this process until you find the one that’s the “one?”

Is this the kindest way to do things, both to the baby and to yourself?

No-one in their right mind would do this because they know in their hearts that even if the baby cries (it will) and disturbs their pre-conceived lifestyle (it will), that is the right baby for them, something that goes beyond the
“try before you buy” draw card. Surpasses the “Call now and get free steak knives, with a 6 week money back guarantee” idea.

Sometimes, that’s what our world tells us regarding sexuality. To call Danoz Direct and try a billion things and put things on lay by and buy something but just disregard (exchange or refund)t if it’s not up to scratch.

But, in the Song of Songs and actually being a Christian, it’s somewhat different. That kind of sexulity and sexual intimacy is something beautiful but exclusive: shared just between a husband and wife.

“Guys! Check this out,” the chick from Song of Songs – if she was around in our day and talking to our Gen Y, Gen Z generation might paraphrase. Dudes! “Listen up, yo.”

And then she says: “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”

Yes, that’s a re tweet of what she said earlier, thanks @LadyfromSongofSongs!

Again, perhaps the modern equivalent is this: “Just hang ten, chill out – sex is a wonderful gift but wait until it’s all good, till you’re married and it’s the right timing.”

But it’s worth it.

As some wise quote I once heard says, “Anything gained quickly we don’t appreciate but we cherish things we took a while to get.” Or something like that, anyway.

*Almost- would be cheating, wouldn’t it! You’re welcome to check out all the references I’ve quoted form, they’re in Song of Songs ch. 1 & 2

Anna K

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